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Jim "Survivor58" Janssen

The Little Boy

Born in 46 a happy little guy 
In 49 suffered TBI 
Screamed for his mommy in pain 
Got a nurse instead with disdain 
Where's my mommy he cried 
She's gone the nurse replied 
He screamed as he starred at the door 
As the nurse beat him to the floor 
Laying in a pool of blood with pain 
Trust in life he would never regain 
Now he lay at home in pain 
As others took him for their gain 
Why did his mommy leave? 
Is there never a reprieve? 
Ah, she's back and he's so happy 
But she beats him into a raggedy. 
Blood colors the bathwater red 
As his head hits the wall like lead 
Why is mommy so mad? 
Cause mommy lost the boy she had 
I'm sorry I'm not the little boy you had 
But mommy still calls me bad 
Where did my loving mommy go? 
Gone forever when my head got a blow 
I'm sorry I'm not the same anymore 
But mommy hates me now even more 
I must be evil and bad 
I'm not the same little lad 
Why am I in such pain? 
If only I could regain. 
Emotional brain damage for life 
Prevents any chance but strife 
So I'll leave this world alone 
Then my soul won't have to groan 
I'm sorry world for not fitting in 
Now everyone can sigh with chagrin

I Don't Understand

I lay here in bed by head racked with pain. 
Why is my mother's head between my legs? 
Scared and confused my heart goes fein. 
I don't understand but my trust reneages. 
My Grandmother comes in to kiss me goodnight 
But instead she undresses to her own delight. 
What are those big things on her chest? 
I don't understand and I cannot rest. 
My Grandfather stand with his thing so big. 
Why at my bed where I don't remember. 
But wake up in pain my bottom so undid. 
I don't understand why I must dismember. 
Why does my cousin want me in the bathroom? 
Why does he put his thing in my mouth? 
He laughs outloud as he pees out his staff, doom. 
I don't understand as I choke with this doubt. 
My mommy says goodbye as I stab myself. 
My fear of the babysitter makes me tremble and shake. 
My head between her legs I cry for help. 
I don't understand why her thing I must take. 
The pain in my head doesn't hurt like it did. 
But my heart torn apart as I ran and hid. 
Under the table again with my invisible friend. 
I don't understand this fear shaking trend.