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Denise "Den" or "Denny" Guaderrama


At this most difficult time in my life, I've come to find that I AM SO ALONE!! 
(Empty) promises are continually made...but the truth is that I'm facing life's
trials on my own! 
My sentiments are real & I'm told that they're perfectly sane. 
All of the hard work, in my past life, was seemingly done in vain.   
What am I missing?  In my recovery, what left for me to do?   
SCREW EVERYONE ELSE!!  To my own self I'll stay true!   
I've never faced a task that has been so tough! 
Life isn't a "walk in the park!"  Life can be and is (especially now) pretty damned
The only real feeling that I have these days is utter & constant fear.   
Get condolances from others, you suggest?  My morbid & devastating story, repeated
yet again, they shouldn't have to hear!   
Others listen only if (or most likely when) I get mad.   
I'm only trying to have my inner cries heard...no dear...I'm not creating a new fad!   
What is the deal with me having to live like this? 
I'm forced to drift aimlessly thru this dreadful abyss.   
So, again I ask, what is there left for me to do?   
My life as I once knew it is gone!  I have to start anew :(! 


This is just a terrible dream.
It's almost as if nothing is as it seemed.
Everything as I remember it is backwards and wrong.
It's almost as if every word was changed to my favorite song.

I feel like I'm terrified all the time, but I don't know why.
Sometimes, I feel so bad and sad, I just want to cry.
I love my whole family but they just don't understand.
I feel like they believe that I'M JUST KIDDING, then "Why don't I just stand?"

They all seem to believe that it's all so easy.
I have the good life to just sit around and be lazy.
I really LOVE my entire family, but sometimes I want to be alone.
But, they don't trust me enough to just BE ALL ON MY OWN.

I have an argument with myself everyday.
Part of me loves how life turned out; Part of me would rather not stay.
All I really am is scared!
I just have to come to the realization that life as I knew it is seared.

Although overconfidence is a big problem, they all treat me like a helpless child.
I don't know how to show them all that I'm okay & please not to treat me so mild.

By: Denise Evette Guaderrama