My Story Continued
Returning to Work - I stopped using the walker the day before I returned to work, where I used a cane. Everyone was very nice and went out of their way not to bring me much work. I supervised a unit of 10 and apparently my boss had asked them to give me a couple of weeks before carrying on with work as usual.
I would go home after 4 hours and take a nap, I was exhausted. To a certain degree, this exhaustion has never left me. I was still repeating myself, but not to the degree I had the first couple of weeks after the injury. I gradually increased to 6 hours a day until 1 year post injury I was back full-time. I was concerned about if I would be able to maintain a full-time schedule. I felt tired most of the time and was experiencing frequent headaches. I began missing 3 - 4 days of work a month because of these problems.
About 3 months after my return to full-time, I discovered I was pregnant. When I told my boss, she asked how long I planned to be out when the baby was born. I told her I would like to take a year but 6 months would probably be more realistic. I sensed she was less then pleased. Then the doctor took me off of work 45 days early because of premature labor and I returned 6 months after my son was born.
When I returned I was overwhelmed and exhausted from my new mom duties. My "significant other", who had never had children, could not understand why I was tired all the time and spent all my free time in bed. Our relationship was quickly deteriorating. I began spending extra hours at work. There were many reasons for this, on the surface I had been assigned to a new project that I was determined to do well with. I also felt the need to make up for all the missed time since my accident. I later realized it was also an escape from the pressures, disapproval and negativity I faced at home. At times I would stay late enough at work, especially on Fridays, to insure everyone would be asleep when I got home. This began to take a toll, not only on my relationships, but on me physically. I began to experience pain, burning and weakness in my upper extremities as most of this overtime was spent on the computer.
On my son's first birthday real tragedy struck, my 24 year old brother died of an epileptic seizure. At the same time, my mom was experiencing significant symptoms from hydrocephalus and was not in a good emotional state to begin with. The death of my brother put her over the edge. She blamed herself and became suicidal. I, on the other hand, shifted into high gear so that I could "take care" of everything. I handled the plans for my brother's funeral, doctors appointments leading to surgery for my mom, on top of everything I was already handling. I took a week off of work and didn't feel everything crashing in on me until I had a moment to breath, about 4 weeks later.
I slowly became clinically depressed, or at least I slowly recognized that I was becoming depressed. My upper extremity symptoms began to increase and last through the weekend. I started feeling very anxious about the probability I would be taken off of work because of these problems. I dreaded telling my boss. While I believe it is very possible that the injuries from my car accident left me more vulnerable to a continuous trauma type injury, I also knew these were new symptoms I was experiencing, that were most probably a result of the long hours on the computer at work.
When it became so bad that I finally had to tell my doctor and file a claim at work, it had been going on for about eight months. The first thing my boss asked me was, "What do you hope to gain by filing a new claim, that you aren't already being provided under the auto accident claim?" This just confirmed my worst fears as to the attitude I would be confronted with. One important factor I haven't mentioned is that the company I work for is a large Workers' Compensation Insurer. One which generally does right by it's insureds and their injured employees but falls very short when it comes to how they treat their own injured employees.
In response to this inappropriate question, I pointed out first, that it was the right and proper thing to do as it was a new injury and that my doctor may take me off of work for a while and I had three kids to support. If I didn't file this claim I would not be entitled to the same level of disability benefits. A month later my doctor did put me on disability and I began a long series of physical therapy. By the fifth week my boss was calling me at home and indicating that maybe I was no longer able to do my job. This took me by surprise and floored me. At my next doctor appointment, three weeks later, I insisted that my doctor return me to at least a part-time schedule.
What About the Less Fortunate?